Episode 77: Making Intentional Family Time a Priority
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For our first "Parents in the Trenches" episode, which is new to this season of the podcast, Sissy and David get to sit down with their dear friends, Tina and Sterling Barrett, to hear how they have juggled work, activities, and intentional family time over the years with their two college-aged kids.
A special thank you to our partners of this week's episode:
Explorer Bible for Kids - Learn more at explorerbibleforkids.com. Buy your copy today from Lifeway.com and get 50% off using code RBG.
EveryPlate - Get started with EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal on your first box by going to EveryPlate and entering code rbg149.
Automated Transcript
Sissy Goff
00;00;03;14
Welcome to the Raising Boys and Girls podcast. I'm Sissy Goff.
David Thomas
00;00;06;24
I'm David Thomas.
Sissy Goff
00;00;08;00
And I'm Melissa Trevathan.
Sissy Goff
00;00;09;24
And we are so glad you've set aside a few minutes to spend with us today. In each episode of this podcast, we'll share some of what we're learning in the work we do with kids and families on a daily basis, and they start counseling in Nashville, Tennessee. Our goal is to help you care for the kids in your life with a little more understanding, a little more practical help, and a whole lot of hope. So pull up a chair and join us on this journey from our little yellow house to yours.
Sissy Goff
00;00;38;24
Well, we could not be any more excited to be sitting down with the two of you and you actually are kicking off. We are having a Parenting in the Trenches section on this season of the podcast, and y'all are our first parents in the trenches.
Tina Barrett
00;00;51;24
Oh, wow.
Sissy Goff
00;00;52;13
You're kind of walking out of the trenches a smidge, but parenting in the trenches and we respect the two of you immensely, just who you are, how you both live, the words that we have heard you say. And so we felt like y'all would be amazing. And we want you all to tell them a little bit about, you know, who you are and your background.
Sissy Goff
00;01;12;05
We'll throw out, Sterling, you're a very beloved physician in Nashville. And I also have to say, what was the list that you were on? Like one of the most handsome. What was it, Tina?
Tina Barrett
00;01;23;11
I will tell you, he is one of the 25 most beautiful people in Nashville. My husband.
David Thomas
00;01;32;07
And we're here to confirm that to be true. We're sitting with two beautiful people right now.
Tina Barrett
00;01;37;05
You guys are so sweet.
Sissy Goff
00;01;38;06
And you're a dear friend and board member who has contributed so much to our board as well.
Tina Barrett
00;01;44;26
We're so thankful. Both of us are very thankful and honored to be here. The feeling is mutual. We love you guys.
David Thomas
00;01;51;28
And you're the parents of two remarkable humans. You are. You talk a little more about those two amazing people.
Sterling Barrett
00;01;57;21
Well, Kristen, who was our eldest, she is currently at Stanford starting her Ph.D. work.
Sissy Goff
00;02;03;26
Amazing.
Sterling Barrett
00;02;04;24
Yes, we're very proud of her. Just very dry. And she completed two years of graduate school work in the U.K. at Oxford and at the University of Edinburgh. So we're happy to have her back on this side of the pond.
Sissy Goff
00;02;17;27
Yes, of course. And with her Ph.D. in her.
Tina Barrett
00;02;21;03
Ph.D. is going to be in English literature. Wow. Like Sterling said, she's spent the past two years in the United Kingdom as a marshall Scholar. Her first master's from Oxford was in English literature. And her second master's that she just finished up at University of Edinburgh is in Intermediately. It's literature and film and arts in. Yes, my eyes are getting big to something that I don't quite understand, but it's a combination of the things she loves literature and film.
Sissy Goff
00;02;53;15
So two Master's degrees and now a Ph.D..
Tina Barrett
00;02;57;03
Yes. That's the way she likes to do things.
David Thomas
00;02;59;16
So I had breakfast tacos this morning. That's my accomplishment. She's brilliant.
Sissy Goff
00;03;07;05
Is brilliant and.
David Thomas
00;03;08;22
Remarkable.
Tina Barrett
00;03;09;24
And so we're excited for her to be back in the States. Like Sterling said, California is still far, but we will take that and is much closer. And then our second child, Emmanuel, he just started his second year at Penn. So he's in Philly and he is hoping to be a physician following in the footsteps of his father.
Tina Barrett
00;03;33;20
Yes. And so he's having a wonderful time there. He's working hard. He's doing very well. And we are just so happy to see how happy he is. And we know that that's the right place for him. We can tell he's been planted in a really great spot.
Sissy Goff
00;03;51;08
They are cool human beings.
David Thomas
00;03;52;18
Yes, they are.
Sissy Goff
00;03;53;21
Being raised to call human beings.
David Thomas
00;03;56;03
Incredibly true words and honor. These two amazing human beings would be with us and just that we could come together and talk a little bit. Because this season of our podcast is called Raising Emotionally Strong and Worry Free Kids. And so thinking in that direction, as we toss some questions to the two of you, we'd love to start out by asking you what is a favorite memory or story from growing up that shaped you into who you are?
Sterling Barrett
00;04;24;09
Well, for me, I think where I grew up and my family structure, very, very key. I grew up in Detroit, as most people know. Detroit in the eighties was a very tough place to be, a very tough place to grow up. I think that the grittiness but in conjunction with my family being very, very intimate. My mom homeschooled me now just for elementary school.
Sterling Barrett
00;04;49;18
So I think that that gave me a sense of comfort, a sense of my parents were always there for me. My father spent a lot of time with me as well. So I think the combination of feeling very secure in my home, but yet knowing that you have to go out into an environment that's very tough. So catching these city busses to school, wow, was part of my experience.
Sterling Barrett
00;05;10;28
And I think that that shaped the secure ness and the emotional securities that I wanted to bring to my family, but also the need to be able to go out in the world and to explore, be able to go to the U.K. to go to school.
Sissy Goff
00;05;22;28
Did you go there for college?
Sterling Barrett
00;05;24;06
No, no, no. My daughter being able to go there. Yeah, watching her do it. That's hopefully the kind of toughness that we've been able to pass on to our children.
Tina Barrett
00;05;31;28
So definitely the memory for me is how I was raised, how I grew up. I am from a small town, Phenix City, Alabama, and both sides of my family are from there, and they both come from large families. So I grew up with a lot of cousins, aunts and uncles, both sets of grandparents, and I even had great grandparents.
Tina Barrett
00;05;57;09
So I grew up in a small town and had this amazing community of people that knew me, that loved me, that cared for me. My best friends were my cousins.
Sissy Goff
00;06;10;08
Sounds like you were the whole town.
Tina Barrett
00;06;12;06
Pretty much. If you weren't related to me, then you knew the person I was related to. Wow. So it was a wonderful time in my life. And I just think of it and I think about, wow, those relationships, that intimacy and being known and how I am as an adult. Those are things that I strive for. I love being in a close knit community.
Tina Barrett
00;06;38;03
I love being known. I want people to know me for who I am. And I think that really is a part of how I was raised. Just being able to be surrounded by so much love and being known.
Sissy Goff
00;06;53;19
That's amazing. I would wish that for anyone.
Tina Barrett
00;06;55;28
It's a great thing. It's really, really great. Yeah.
Sissy Goff
00;06;59;29
Thinking about your kids ages and being a little older and we're talking, as David said, about helping kids be emotionally strong and worry free. Although we know living in this world, it's not fully worry free. But what would y'all say helped contribute to that in your kiddos?
Sterling Barrett
00;07;15;02
As we both said, I think when you listen to our backgrounds, even though my wife had a much more rich extended family in smaller town, we both had that intimate feeling in our homes. We had the feeling of being supported by their family unit. And I think that that's what we brought to our children, that they would feel the ease of being vulnerable, that they would be able to feel like they could be their honest selves with us, that we provided them time for that a.
Tina Barrett
00;07;45;10
Lot of time. That is something that was very important to us, is to make sure there was always a lot of time. So there was time for the conversations and time for the I would say the talking, you know, in the talking are the questions, the answers the adult knows. But then that vulnerability that you were speaking about, Sterling, that came out from that family time and that allowed us an opportunity to redirect if we could and be honest with them about ourselves as well, but kind of point them to faith and maybe what God has in store for them.
Tina Barrett
00;08;30;07
But definitely a lot of family time.
Sissy Goff
00;08;35;25
Not just.
Tina Barrett
00;08;36;10
The theme for us.
Sissy Goff
00;08;37;08
As you're saying, that were there moments along the way thinking about maybe especially in adolescence, were there times that you wanted to have family time and they were not sold? And if so, how did you accomplish it?
Tina Barrett
00;08;50;18
So let's take Kristin, who was also at the time doing theater and things like that. So there would be a production or something going on and it's busy for her. There would be times where there's something in her mind that's very, very important, and that should happen before or without her for family time. And that was a time where we would actually negotiate.
Sterling Barrett
00;09;14;21
Negotiate, alter.
Tina Barrett
00;09;16;17
Redirect.
Sterling Barrett
00;09;17;11
Redirect.
Sissy Goff
00;09;18;10
Ignore the eye rolls. Was that in there?
Tina Barrett
00;09;20;11
Yes, yes, yes,
Sterling Barrett
00;09;22;08
What? Eye rolls? You must know her. I think one of the things that we did is try to embed family time in things that needed to be done, such as dinner.
Tina Barrett
00;09;34;14
Absolutely.
Sterling Barrett
00;09;35;05
Everyone needs to eat even if it was late.
Tina Barrett
00;09;38;02
Absolutely.
Sterling Barrett
00;09;38;27
We were able to say, okay, you're not going to be home until late. Practice doesn't end. You still have to eat. We don't want you grabbing something on the way home. We're have dinner together at 9:00.
Tina Barrett
00;09;48;29
Yeah. Even if dinner was short that night, we really made a strong effort to have dinner together. And with our kids being five years apart and Emmanuel being behind Kristin, of course he wanted to wait because at that time he was still like, I want to have dinner with the family. And it wasn't until he got older and he was playing tennis and he had other things going on and it was just the three of us at home.
Tina Barrett
00;10;15;10
And now the two of us are saying, okay, we know you have homework when you coming home for tennis. And you know, for a little while he would talk about his homework and then eventually would turn around him saying, so what's mom cooking for dinner? So it was turned into a time that he really enjoyed that he knew we were going to sit down and he had attention from us and we were going to be able to talk so well.
Sterling Barrett
00;10;43;02
The other piece is you're amazing. Cook Oh, that really helps that everyone the cake.
Tina Barrett
00;10;48;16
You.
Sterling Barrett
00;10;49;04
Would look forward to because it was not just, you know, your mundane dishes. We were having also bucco we were having. Yes, she was spending the time to make sure that it was something to look forward to. And this is just to.
Tina Barrett
00;11;05;03
Linger over as well.
Sterling Barrett
00;11;06;27
Yes. Yes. And my waistline can.
Tina Barrett
00;11;10;02
I can.
Sterling Barrett
00;11;10;14
Attest to that. But those were the times that it really made it easier to pull your pre-teen or your teenager in because it's something that they needed as well. Yes. And also and the pre-teen years, taking them to activities that time in the car was always the time to get great conversations out. We say family time, but it wasn't a full ride from 6 to 7.
Sterling Barrett
00;11;35;03
Right. We're going to do family time. Yeah. It was making sure that we had time with them doing other things.
Sissy Goff
00;11;41;16
And it sounded like you worked with their lifestyle, but you were still creatively committed to it happening.
Tina Barrett
00;11;46;20
And we would switch things up too. I remember there was a time where we would switch who took which kid to school because like you said, it would either be driving them to a function or driving them to school. These are when the conversations can happen. And so, okay, we'll switch. Now it's my turn to take Emmanuel to Saint Paul.
Tina Barrett
00;12;07;19
In your turn to take Kristen to Harp Athol because I mean, it's not a long time, but it is time, right?
Sterling Barrett
00;12;15;04
All of it.
Tina Barrett
00;12;15;14
Counts. All of it counts.
Sterling Barrett
00;12;16;21
Counts. Yeah.
Tina Barrett
00;12;17;29
We were definitely counting all of it.
David Thomas
00;12;24;05
Sissy One of my favorite parts of our book, are my kids on track is the for spiritual milestones. Sadly, we can't take much credit for that part, can we?
Sissy Goff
00;12;33;12
Nope. Our dear friend and boss Melissa Trevathan gets the credit for that.
David Thomas
00;12;37;27
I love the milestone of foundation and how Melissa talks about how to instill a love for God's word early in development.
Sissy Goff
00;12;45;09
Me too. And the folks at Lifeway have a new resource to help parents lay that foundation. The Explorer Bible for Kids helps place God's word in the middle of God's world.
David Thomas
00;12;55;07
I love how the book introductions of each book of the Bible help kids understand the key truths and takeaways, including the who, what, when, where and why.
Sissy Goff
00;13;05;00
I love how the exploring creation sections help kids understand Bible stories in comparison with modern day experiences.
David Thomas
00;13;11;15
I think so many boys will love how the excavating the past images connect the dots between the Bible and archeological discoveries.
Sissy Goff
00;13;20;15
To learn more, go to explorerbibleforkids.com.
David Thomas
00;13;24;04
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David Thomas
00;13;34;26
So much of what you both are sharing is such a picture of one of the reasons that we wanted to have you on this podcast. The first reason is just because we're so crazy about the two of you and we enjoy and respect you so much.
David Thomas
00;13;49;18
We just would take advantage of any opportunity to be in the same room with you two.
Tina Barrett
00;13;52;28
You guys are so sweet.
Tina Barrett
00;13;53;17
Secondly because you bring this wisdom and perspective as parents of young adults to the equation. We have so many parents who are listening, who have younger kids and the gift of folks who've traveled this long road of parenting to speak to things. And I'd love to ask you both having the perspective you do now as you look back, what's something that you worried about as a parent that you wish you hadn't worried so much about now?
Tina Barrett
00;14;20;27
Oh, my goodness. Milestones, checkpoints, awards. Are we bad for not putting them in travel sports? Yeah. I mean, all those normal things that we hear about, we definitely, definitely had those questions. We would talk and we would still do things the way we wanted to do them, but we would try to worry less about it. Just having our conversations about what's important to us, what do we think is God's plan for them?
Tina Barrett
00;14;58;03
We don't know. We have to give it some chance to happen here, but we can't keep up with that pace. And we would just look around and with our children and the things they were already doing. But we would worry about that and we would think, what's the saying keeping up with the Joneses? Yes, it's very true. And that. Happened
Sissy Goff
00;15;17;17
Now worse than ever.
Tina Barrett
00;15;18;06
And that happened in our house.
Sterling Barrett
00;15;19;27
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's just so difficult not to want to have your kid as scheduled as the kids next door and just to make sure that their schedule is as full as it possibly can be and that they're doing every particular sport and every activity because they're going to be stars and whatever they do. And that's just not the case.
Tina Barrett
00;15;41;21
Well, sometimes you worry that what would happen is the case and we just messed it up.
Sissy Goff
00;15;46;17
In from being. Yes, they would have been in the NFL and we didn't let them play football, whatever it is. Yes, sure.
Sterling Barrett
00;15;51;09
When they were two.
Sissy Goff
00;15;52;01
Right.
Tina Barrett
00;15;52;22
Two. Yes. Yes. Actually.
Sissy Goff
00;15;55;02
That's a great perspective because you value something different.
Tina Barrett
00;15;58;12
We do. We did. And we're thankful. And as I say, hindsight being 2020. But yes, that definitely happened.
Sissy Goff
00;16;06;27
Yeah. As David mentioned, we have a lot of young parents that listen and we would love to hear now with the wisdom that you have from the years and just who you are, what is something you wish someone had said to you as you were starting the parenting journey?
Tina Barrett
00;16;21;07
You cannot control everything.
Sterling Barrett
00;16;25;01
Say it again.
Tina Barrett
00;16;25;13
It's just you cannot control everything. And would you like to tell them why? I can say that so boldly? Who tried really hard sometimes? Yes. That would be me. That would be me. You cannot control everything and trust me sometimes I tried. You just can't. And also, I would like to say I don't want to say that no one ever told me that.
Tina Barrett
00;16;56;13
That's also important. I think there are a lot of words of wisdom that have been spoken, a lot of truths.
Sterling Barrett
00;17;04;20
But have not been internalized. But we're not in internalized.
Tina Barrett
00;17;07;01
There you go. And then when you start walking that walk and you like, oh, yes, I'd say that to someone. So I'm like, you know, my mom might have told me that exact same thing. So there's that sometimes it's already there. But have you really embraced that truth? Have you done that, that great thought? Yeah.
Sissy Goff
00;17;33;13
Good reminder.
Tina Barrett
00;17;34;09
You know.
David Thomas
00;17;35;05
Sterling, as a physician, what would you say is something that you want parents to hear?
Sterling Barrett
00;17;42;23
I think I go back to many of the things that we've been talking about. I have the opportunity to kind of peer into other people's lives on a daily basis, and we often are commiserating about these types of things. And one of the things that I think comes out over and over again is that we all have the same struggles and that as human parents trying to raise our children, trying to spend more time, how do you juggle being a spouse, working and then being a parent and dealing with these incredible schedules?
Sterling Barrett
00;18;15;27
I really think that trying to work through these types of issues, it just becomes a universal problem.
Sissy Goff
00;18;21;07
Yeah, so true. One of the things we talk a lot about because obviously we talk about emotions around here a good bit and we talk about, you know, the importance of letting kids feel their emotions and express those, but having a foundational truth. And so as a parent thinking about different seasons y'all have been through and some were probably worry filled and felt emotionally weak along the way, are there a couple of truths that you would remind yourself of on the journey that helped you carry through it?
Sissy Goff
00;18;53;24
Yes, I like that you're laughing.
Tina Barrett
00;18;55;22
A little.
Sissy Goff
00;18;56;03
To yourself.
Tina Barrett
00;18;56;22
Saying, Well, Sterling, this is something else between us, because he'll tell you the way I will often say it at home, God is in control. But of course, the way I see it is God's got this. But giving credit to Sterling in that one truth, it's God's in control that also comes out of, again, me sometimes trying to control something and us having a conversation and talking together and having to reach that truth over and over again, having to come together and reach that truth.
Tina Barrett
00;19;30;26
And Sterling, another thing that you would talk about, there's a saying you have about the income wearing control.
Sterling Barrett
00;19;37;25
Yeah, I still along those lines is that to both my kids and I think we would say this to each other that we're in control of the effort that we put in. We need to put effort into what we're doing, but God is in control of the outcome.
Tina Barrett
00;19;50;11
That's so good.
Sterling Barrett
00;19;51;11
We don't get a chance to control outcomes. We're only in the effort part. That's one thing that we have to remind ourselves over and over again that we want to put the time into our children and to who they are becoming and their education and their emotional growth. But in the end, God is in control as to how that's going to play out in their lives.
Tina Barrett
00;20;12;18
And we have the faith talks, which is another thing that we say God loves you more than we do. So we're really trying. But having faith and believing in God and doing your part is not okay. I don't have to do anything because God is in control and he's got it so right. What is it about? But it's work at it.
Tina Barrett
00;20;37;08
Put your work in and then goes back to the conversations we had about the vulnerability that there will be challenges having someone to talk to about them and growing strong through those challenges that happen, having a place to take, that being able to use your faith to be able to navigate that. But in the end, knowing that God's plan is the perfect plan, God's got this.
Tina Barrett
00;21;05;10
That's good. Yeah.
David Thomas
00;21;07;04
You too.
Sissy Goff
00;21;07;27
I know.
David Thomas
00;21;12;14
Sissy, can we talk about one of our favorite things in the world?
Tina Barrett
00;21;17;12
Tacos?
David Thomas
00;21;18;03
Yes.
Sissy Goff
00;21;18;29
Absolutely we can.
David Thomas
00;21;20;17
How do you feel about all the ingredients for Southwest pork and green pepper tacos being delivered to your front door? Zero grocery shopping involved?
Sissy Goff
00;21;31;19
I am feeling better by the minute, David.
David Thomas
00;21;34;20
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Sissy Goff
00;21;45;17
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David Thomas
00;21;52;04
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Sissy Goff
00;22;03;06
David What did you do with the money and time you saved?
David Thomas
00;22;05;18
Ordered the chocolate lava cake from Everyplate.
Sissy Goff
00;22;08;07
Of course you did. Tell folks how they can have that experience.
David Thomas
00;22;12;19
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Sissy Goff
00;22;23;24
That's up to $110 value for our listeners.
David Thomas
00;22;27;14
And that will buy a lot of tacos.
Tina Barrett
00;22;30;05
Yes, it will.
David Thomas
00;22;34;29
We like to end with something fun. So I'm going to ask you a two part question.
Tina Barrett
00;22;39;19
Okay.
David Thomas
00;22;40;07
First part is K, so or back. The second part of the question is, what's your favorite taco? And we're really curious now. We've heard about you being a great cook over here.
Tina Barrett
00;22;51;27
Is so funny. I made tacos last night. I love fish tacos. Yes, the best little fish last night. Grilled. We have fresh red snapper and he's the grill master. Like, I love to cook, but he's the grill master. And we had.
Sterling Barrett
00;23;09;29
It’s the only thing I can do in the kitchen.
Tina Barrett
00;23;10;10
And so yeah, snapper and I was just like, Oh, tacos. So for me, I think you two fish tacos.
Sterling Barrett
00;23;17;07
Tacos?
Tina Barrett
00;23;17;21
Yeah.
Sterling Barrett
00;23;18;04
I love hands down.
Tina Barrett
00;23;19;07
Yeah. Mahi mahi, it could be, but snapper last night.
Sterling Barrett
00;23;22;08
Yeah, I could be.
Tina Barrett
00;23;22;21
Any fish and then.
Sterling Barrett
00;23;24;12
Okay, so for me I can eat it by the pound. Actually, please don't bring it into my house.
Tina Barrett
00;23;29;22
I want it to bring out for you too, the one that you told me to start buying. You know, the store. Something special? Yes, there was that cake. So did you.
Sterling Barrett
00;23;37;20
Please don't bring it to my house. Don't hurt me like that.
Tina Barrett
00;23;41;01
It's so good. So I am a guacamole person. I like cheese my husband, because I don't do okay. So I mean, he'll just get a whole lot of cheese and melt it and just like, do it and it becomes his case. So I'm just like, but guacamole.
Sissy Goff
00;23;57;04
Guacamole. Do you have a good guacamole recipe?
Tina Barrett
00;23;59;11
I'm at the point where I just can throw it all together. Yes. I like cilantro in mine. People have very strong feelings about cilantro.
Sissy Goff
00;24;07;07
Yes, they do.
Tina Barrett
00;24;08;17
I didn't know that. There's something about the flavor in that. It's a real thing. I like cilantro in mine. So that's one thing.
Sissy Goff
00;24;16;20
We can still be friends. Yeah.
Tina Barrett
00;24;17;24
Yeah, it's good.
Sissy Goff
00;24;20;23
You said something. I don't know if you were planning on it being in this episode, but about your kids giving you some feedback.
Tina Barrett
00;24;27;21
Yeah.
Sissy Goff
00;24;28;12
Before we totally finish out, we all talk a little bit about that.
Sterling Barrett
00;24;31;26
Oh, absolutely. It was great. It was great.
Tina Barrett
00;24;34;19
Let them know that we were going to be on the podcast and they were proud and asking the press about it and ask them, you know, they're young adults now. Just a couple of things that they wanted to say and both of them separately of each other. They both talked about having the family time that we mentioned. They talked about having a reliable, consistent, positive home life.
Tina Barrett
00;24;57;28
We help them to stay focused structure. Yeah, they used the word structure and also feeling free to talk about whatever was going on in their life and not feeling like they would be punished, but that we would help them direct them in a certain area that is great or.
Sissy Goff
00;25;20;04
Great reminders.
Tina Barrett
00;25;21;05
That made me feel so happy as a mommy. And both of us were like, Oh, and so and it was interesting because this is after we had talked about it and they both talked about structure, family time, dinner. So now at this age, they are looking back and saying that was very.
Sterling Barrett
00;25;38;04
Important and fun and.
Tina Barrett
00;25;39;28
Fun. They used the word fun. Did you change last year and you're so fun. Like we got that. We did have fun.
David Thomas
00;25;54;21
You are so far and Tina knows the story. Years ago, Emanuel was playing flag football with my twins. Yes. When they were all in elementary school and, you know, parents listening, you know what? It's like that to wake at the crack of dawn on Saturday school games and we'd all wake and go out early and throw our blankets on the side of the field to watch.
David Thomas
00;26;13;15
And my wife would pop up on Saturdays like she never did during soccer season or basketball season. And I remember once side saying, You're so excited. And she said, Oh, the football is fine. But sitting on the blanket with Tina Barrett is.
Tina Barrett
00;26;27;12
That it's like we would have to hang out with you. I know. I love being with people.
Sterling Barrett
00;26;34;17
To just.
Tina Barrett
00;26;35;19
Cue you for saying.
David Thomas
00;26;36;19
Oh, my goodness.
Tina Barrett
00;26;37;16
Oh, yeah.
Sterling Barrett
00;26;38;12
You can borrow. We can't have her back.
David Thomas
00;26;41;03
When we come over for those grilled fish tacos.
Tina Barrett
00;26;43;10
Absolutely.
Sterling Barrett
00;26;44;16
Yeah, absolutely.
Tina Barrett
00;26;46;08
That's another.
Sterling Barrett
00;26;46;22
Recipe. Last night was outstanding.
Tina Barrett
00;26;48;09
I'm also that person. I love that to be a community type thing in the kitchen, it's always like, let's do this together. Let's have fun making tacos. And so, yes, I would welcome you both. Come on, come on. We would love left.
David Thomas
00;27;05;14
Do you love it?
Sissy Goff
00;27;06;22
Y'all? As so many good things, I feel like your hearts are just so intentional. And I love that you're hearing back how the intentionality made a difference for them because I think a lot of parents that are listening are not in that space where they're hearing back at all.
Tina Barrett
00;27;20;22
Yeah, and we've been there. Yes.
Sissy Goff
00;27;23;02
And your kids might even say you're fun someday. Yeah, they're great girls.
Tina Barrett
00;27;26;07
Awesome.
Sissy Goff
00;27;26;25
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Tina Barrett
00;27;29;24
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Sissy Goff
00;27;31;27
We think you're really fun.
Tina Barrett
00;27;32;25
Yes. Oh, both We know you guys are fun, too. We love it. Thank you so much for this wonderful opportunity.
Sterling Barrett
00;27;39;16
Yes. Thank you so much.
Sissy Goff
00;27;44;24
That was such a fun conversation.
David Thomas
00;27;47;22
How fun are those?
Sissy Goff
00;27;48;17
Oh, they're so fun. I could not love them anymore. I feel like they had such practical wisdom and hopeful things to say about the long game parenting know, and they have such amazing kids.
David Thomas
00;27;59;01
And a great sense of humor, all of which we has traveled this long.
Tina Barrett
00;28;03;15
Right.
David Thomas
00;28;04;21
I was thinking about things that will stay with me from our conversation with them. And I was thinking about I love when they talked about in busy seasons to include intentional family time and things that need to be done and how easy it is. I think in this crazy busy time to not remember to factor that in as we're going from point A to point B and even dinner, that if it needs to be shorter or even later.
Sissy Goff
00;28;27;17
After dinner, that was great.
David Thomas
00;28;29;24
Coming around the table for a little bit of time together to connect. I love when they both talked about that.
Sissy Goff
00;28;34;17
Me to.
David Thomas
00;28;35;19
What stayed with you.
Sissy Goff
00;28;36;23
Well I think the part about not worrying about your kids missing out and that actually you do worry about it still, but that you decide as a family what you value the most and that's what you commit the time to. Because I think every parent has that fear as they're talking, and I think it's too much. I mean, we would both say it's contributing to anxiety and so many things going on with kids today.
Sissy Goff
00;28;58;11
We're just we have too many things go and yeah and to intentionally pull it back and decide what are the things we're committed to do, I think is just a great reminder. Yeah.
David Thomas
00;29;07;07
And hands down that you cannot control everything.
Sissy Goff
00;29;10;12
Yes. Oh, I love saying that.
David Thomas
00;29;12;14
God's got this back to myself over and over.
Sissy Goff
00;29;15;16
And too.
David Thomas
00;29;16;15
I loved even the wisdom of her talking about Sterling saying that back to her and the gift that all of us need people in our lives who can remind us that God's got this in those seasons when we may be grasping for too much control or losing sight of that truth.
Sissy Goff
00;29;32;13
Yes, because he certainly does.
David Thomas
00;29;34;05
Amen. So grateful we got to have this conversation. Thankful for those two folks
Sissy Goff
00;29;39;03
Me too.
Jess Wolstenholm
00;29;43;01
Hi, I'm Jess Wolstenholm, mom of two and director of education and faith formation for Minno, a streaming service for Christian families. Ever feel like your life as a parent is all about chasing special? So driven by the fear of missing out, we often overschedule and overcommit so our kids don't miss a thing. The irony is, by doing all the things, they're actually missing out on something really important, an emotional milestone.
Jess Wolstenholm
00;30;09;02
Sissy and David, talk about on the podcast often perspective when every day is perfectly planned and every activity is over-the-top, is anything ever really special? Their expectations and opportunities are high, but their joy and R's along with it is depleted. Maybe we're looking for joy in all the wrong places. True joy is not dependent on what we have or what we do.
Jess Wolstenholm
00;30;34;16
It's the benefit of a life deeply rooted in Jesus and powered by the joy He brings. I know it's easier said than done with school and sports and activities all done well over the top these days. And there's nothing wrong with those things. The only way kids find their unique gifts is to explore kids, learn to work hard and persevere through achievements.
Jess Wolstenholm
00;30;57;10
But it's never worth it if our family unit falls apart from the stress of it all, and it doesn't have to be hard to access the deep and lasting joy of Jesus in the midst of busy schedules. All we need to do is choose to make room in our lives for things like regular spiritual practices and family time.
Jess Wolstenholm
00;31;15;22
The only thing I have a fear of missing out on is the abundant life Jesus has for our family. How about you? Whether they know it or not, our kids are looking to us to lead the process. How can you help your family make room for joy this week?
Sissy Goff
00;31;32;13
It's our joy to bring the experience and insight we gain through our work beyond the walls of the Daystar House.
David Thomas
00;31;38;29
If you enjoyed this conversation, please share it with your friends and don't forget to click the follow button in your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. To learn more about our parenting resources or to see if we're coming to a city near you, visit our website at RaisingBoysandGirls.com.
Sissy Goff
00;31;59;14
Join us next time for more help and hope as you continue your journey of raising boys and girls.